things DO change

I feel like a blog addict already.

Sorry.

And i'm even more sorry to myself because i know i'm speaking to me. Who am I kidding? But its okay with me, as long as I say it. Never say i didnt say so! Or write. Whatever.

Okay so, exactly 7 months ago i was pretty much listening to "Change" by Taylor Swift on repeat. This is the kind of song you hear and hear and you're convinced its going to make some kind of impact in your life, but it doesnt, and you just forget it. I felt so lost at the time. I just didnt know what i wanted, and i was scared that if i just stood there, all the chances were going to fly away from my hands. I was terrified. I couldnt sleep. And when i did, I couldnt wake up easily. I didnt look up to anything.

School was being a bitch. I couldnt get good grades. I couldnt stop driving my parents insane. I was going to a path i didnt wanted to. Until i asked for help.

GUYS, ask for help. Not neccesarily "doctor" help. Just ask for a hand in a nearby person. Your sister, your brother. They love you more than that doctor wants you to get better. They are always the best medicine. And tell your mom about everything. I told mine about my stuff, and she laughed. It was actually pretty hilarious, she couldnt believe i was passing through the same stuff she did when she was young. In that way, i knew i was going to be okay. Cause she's okay.

Now, if things are even MORE extreme, ask for help in God. I know some of you don't believe, and i'm not the best God follower out there; I dont go to church, I dont pray much, I swear, I eat when i wanna, etc... But i'm telling you, he loves you so much! I know about it. If you're distant from him, he keeps you closer to his heart. If you listen to him in the worst of times, he'll make it better.

So back to the story... I finally gave in and asked for help. I was disappointed in myself because i didnt wanted people to know i was weak. And thats the first mistake you'll ever make in adult life. Dont be afraid to be seen at your worse, for people will help you with their best. Isnt it what you want? To be helped with all their strength? If you ask me, i prefer help from someone who means it that someone who just pities me.

Things started to make sense. Basically because the person who helped me, who from now on we will name "Madonna", just lend a hand. And thats where it all gets better. Cause you know you only needed A STEP to be okay. You start walking on your own to somewhere that makes sense to you.

Now for all these past months i've been working on it non stop. Madonna's proud. My momma's proud. But HEY! I'm losing my patience. And this things taking long. What are you supposed to do?

I'm not trying to give a smartass answer to this question; I'm actually asking myself that. I dont know what to do. I barely do have any time to think about it. I'm just savouring the moment as for now. And what will happen, will happen.

People say i have the best of luck. I dont believe in luck. I believe that God loves me.

Everything will be fine, I promise.

xo - Mercy

P.S. I'm excited for the outcome. You guys don't know what it is about. Maybe you do. But you'll know. And i'll be happy about all those people who once brought me down. Cause i know i'll be living my life, and they will not be involved. And if they ever do want to, I'll give them a chance. Be the bigger person. Of course, i'm never going to fall for the pretty compliments. Expect the worst, keep your guard....
Oh and things did change. Taylor Swift was right.