i just don't get it

Do you have a problem with someone, something so bad, that you get disgusted? Do you even know that person? Do you want to make a change to that person? Or will you live calmly knowing you'll live better than he will ever live?

I'm talking about TEENAGERS. I'm one. Figures. But theres this funny thing i just don't get. I don't get teenagers. And sometimes, i don't even get my close friends. Teenagers have the tendency to bring someone else down. Criticize. The prime factor in this problem is that they think NOTHING will happen. When its quite the opposite

Dont get me wrong, i love being a teenager. I'm amazed at all the teenagers around me. They seem happy. And thats what it is about, being happy, isnt it? But theres this thing that bothers me; How do they keep living an unhealthy way if they know they'll end up being something much worse than those who they bother? Something worse than the people they make fun of? (This is the perfect example of the kid who is bullied and 20 years after the bully ends up working with him... hey.. IT HAPPENS!)

I used to be bullied. I can gladly say i was proud of it. This was 5th grade, i remember it. Kinda blurry though. I remember bully #1 next to bully #2 in a round table. Back then, breaking the rules was a blasphemy, so i had to sit down with them because the teacher said so. They could talk and talk about me and laugh everytime i sat down. I'm honest, everytime they layed an eye on me, they'd chuckle. It was living hell for me. I didn't go to school for weeks.

I still find my way to be positive

But then came 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th grade. You could see the bullying go lower and lower each year, because we are "supposely" being more mature. But the girls were amazingly mean. They would glare and laugh. I did not know what i was doing wrong. I was scared, terrified... I was different.

Now at first i said what the hell. If thats the problem, lets be even more different. But over these years i noticed thats not the problem. The problem is them. Not me. And what ever thing they do will affect themselves, not me. I kinda repeated that last sentence the past 5 years of my life.

People i'm friends with say i'm strong. Thats not it. I realized things teenagers dont GET at such age. Maybe that means i'm growing up faster than they do. Madonna once told me i'm older emotionally. But now, everytime i see someone glare, or just laugh at my back... I ignore. Its something i do often. I cant let them inside my head. Thats what they want. And they don't deserve you.

Now lately i have no problem with most teenagers. I'm selfish; as long as they do not do stuff to me, i'm alright. But this last month i've been selfless. Here's a little note to some people i've seen out there...

Do you feel big when you laugh at someone who is telling you their lives in a DIFFERENT way?

Do you feel amazing when you just, don't care, laugh at the important things, and act careless around your friends?

Or even more important, those friends... DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE FRIENDING?

You gotta take care of yourself, if you're a teenager. Be an adult before age. In that way, you'll start before. And dont be lazy, there's plenty of time to rest when you die. Love yourself, before all this circumstances. You could be the most excellent student, the most respectful friend... but it all would be a lie if you don't love yourself first.

I will now proceed to sleep

xo - Mercy

P.S.: Mean girls still laugh at the sight of me. I laugh harder. :)