tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30393800480461147162024-03-19T00:35:54.061-07:00PROCRASTINATIONHey, i'm Mercy. I'm 5'10. Deeply sorry I blocked your view.Mercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-52151607832260168412013-07-13T13:19:00.001-07:002013-07-13T13:19:12.004-07:00La naturaleza es perfecta.<br />
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Por qué insistir en vivir en un mundo solitario en tu cabeza, cuando hay un mundo que se puede compartir?</div>
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Las cosas mas reales de nuestro universo pasan cuando un detalle de tu vida cotidiana se mete a tu mente, se maximiza naturalmente, sin tener que pensarlo, como de semilla a flor.<div>
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Después se siente tanto, que los otros sentimientos que hayas sentido en tu pasado de pronto se vuelven absurdos. </div>
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Absurdos porque en alguna vez esos sentimientos fueron arduamente analizados para poderlos entender, y llegaron a existir solo en tu mente.</div>
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Y los sentimientos de lo real no necesitan ser entendidos.</div>
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En el momento en el que el detalle simple florece y ocupa tu mente, tu dejas de tener la necesidad de entender la relación entre tu mente y cuerpo en la búsqueda de perfección y empiezas a aceptar que la naturaleza no piensa, solo siente. </div>
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De nada sirve pensar algo que nunca se podrá entender.</div>
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xx m</div>
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Mercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-88134702018683522872011-09-24T03:08:00.001-07:002011-09-24T03:08:38.370-07:00Something like worthy poetry even if you're feeling great<br />Something like cotton candy, something like chocolate cake<br />Something falling down, something passing by<br />Something like sugar, sweet banana cream pie<br /><br />Something sour, like lime<br />Something cruel like you<br />Something bitter like tears<br />Something perfect in time<br />Something needed in time<br /><br />Something like poor poetry when you're feeling like shit<br />Someone just like me that I just cannot see<br />Something beautiful, <br />Something that made my dream true, that something took it away<br /><br />Something sour, like warheads<br />Something cruel like expensive shoes<br />Something perfect instead<br />Something needed instead<br /><br />Something cool, like iced tea<br />Something fake to sweeten <br />And something wandering my mind<br />Something wandering my mind<br />Something perfect indeed<br />Something needed indeed<br /><br />Something there forever<br />Something there to haunt me<br />Something of mine given to him<br />So he can let me live<br />Something there in my body<br />Something deep in my soul<br />something good when I'm happy<br />Awful when all alone<br /><br />Something happy forever<br />Something sad for a while<br />Something happy forever<br />Something sad for a whileMercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-72272251942169681412011-08-25T11:53:00.000-07:002011-08-25T12:46:12.655-07:00My inconformity with doubt and why I feel like an alien sometimes...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:hyphenationzone>21</w:HyphenationZone> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Tabla normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">This morning, I walked through my university’s halls completely aware. I was aware of my hair; 2/5ths of it have to be on the front, 3/5ths on the back. I was aware of the transparency of people, therefore aware of their personality. I was aware of my car keys in my bag. I was aware of where I came from. I was aware of what I’ve done but I couldn’t understand. I couldn’t understand how, even with this level of awareness, little things slipped through my fingers like water. And I would never, ever know what those things were. And that, my dear Watson, pisses me off.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">You know that feeling of gratification you get when you know why things happen? Why you do? Why you feel? And then ask yourself why didn’t you listened before, why were you so blind, or why didn’t anyone comment on it before? </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Artists nowadays don’t like methodology; don’t like rules. They will just throw the idea out there. I consider myself creative and I also consider artists troubled, for unhealthily getting deeper into humanity and discover things that they (ATTENTION) do <span style="font-style: italic;">not</span> know (doesn't make sense, huh?). A while ago I merged myself into a world that I thought was completely appalling: Learning how to feel. I refused, being the artistic soul that I was, I couldn’t do it. I’ve written my best lines in times of need and I was completely afraid of losing what I thought was ‘me’. I was right in my mind. But I was wrong in others. And bam. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Feelings explosion</span>.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Feelings explosion is something I realized that happens in my everyday life. My life, artistic or not, was like an experiment. I had to make it an experiment in order to be able to solve my questions. I saw patterns, and one of those was my least favorite, the “feelings explosion”. Every time I felt too much, I thought too less. It is metaphorically a giant explosion in my head. I would just babble and walk around, almost sick to my stomach. Why? Why can’t I just order my head like a library? This section feelings, this section wishes, this section thoughts, this section memory. Why do I instead order it like messy post-its everywhere? Why isn’t my mind over my control? Isn’t it supposed to be MY mind, not my evil apathy's? Or even more confusing: Why if I have my own mind, I created my own evil side? Why would somebody do that to themselves?</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">This is where religion strikes in. A higher power. Evil trying to pull me in. That’s it. Problem solved. I don’t want to get into religion much because, to be honest, I’d be hypocritical because I’m completely ignorant of it. I just accept it; after all, that’s why people aren’t really uncomfortable with doubt. But thanks to my ignorance and complete indifference to religion, I don’t just stay in religion. I go way further.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">For the past few years I’ve heard different points of view from different famous theorists around the world. Knowledge only makes things harder, because when other people choose to believe certain theories, I find truth in them all. For example, I believe humans are not evil by nature, but do have the tendency to be, mainly with oneself. And that makes me believe they are evil by nature.
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">The truth is just a big salad of opinions. I find myself agreeing with everyone and forming my own little, everything salad (with a side of me). But then, in the middle of this, I ask myself: “Why do I need to know it?” Because to be honest, I’m fine. I don’t need to trouble myself with questions. I think I would rather live happily forever instead of waste time having doubt. Ignorance<span style="font-style: italic;"> IS</span> bliss.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">But that leads to another thought and mildly introduced as my theory; that perfection leads to nothing and no where. This will sound cliché and I’m sure you all have heard it before that without evil, good wouldn’t be here to fight it. Without feeling sad, we wouldn’t know how feeling good feels. When something’s gone that you never had, you’re numb. It doesn’t affect you. Therefore, if humanity was completely perfect, we’d be good looking zombies. Feelings for me are a synonym of imperfection. And I'm not saying that that is bad.
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">My point is: these last months I’ve understood why I shouldn’t know. And what things I should. I should know the things I’m passionate about to make them closer to perfection so everyone would feed off it. I shouldn’t know why I’m passionate about it.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">So humanity is weird. I’ve asked myself so many times why people are mean to each other when you have the choice to be good. And the thing is, everything evil you project, you will get. But boy A just doesn’t give a damn and boy B is bitter because of people not giving a damn. You’re always feeling, but people ignore it. And boy A and boy B should be friends. You don’t know how others are thinking. For all we know, some people think with unimaginable things, while we think like we do. For all we know, people look at shapes differently than we do. We’ll never know how different one mind is from another. And there’s definitely no use in dwelling in something you either can’t change or won’t ever know. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Xoxo - Mercy</span></p> Mercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-21165293909888649292010-12-31T10:20:00.000-08:002010-12-31T11:18:33.854-08:00why do i keep writing songs in new years?<div>open my eyes, i feel blind</div><div>i was dancing in the moon</div><div>why do i have to go soon?</div><div>but now i know it's okay, life moves on</div><div><br /></div><div>they say girls like me</div><div>either get too lost in what could it be's</div><div>or get found in impossibilities</div><div>but now i know, winter aint that cold and summer aint that warm </div><div>and lovers aint that much in love</div><div><br /></div><div>why do i keep on dreaming?</div><div><br /></div>i want to feel that impatient anxiety<div>where i can't sleep</div><div>can't wait to what it'll be</div><div>yet i can't wait for the exact opposite</div><div><br /></div><div>i want to be awake</div><div>like when i was just a kid</div><div>where i could smell and feel and touch and see the same old boring thing but love it anyways</div><div><br /></div><div>why do i keep on dreaming?</div><div><br /></div><div>they say girls like me have a thousand eyes</div><div>they say dreamers break their own heart apart</div><div>they say boys like you aren't meant to stay</div><div>but i'll keep dreaming that you'll stay anyway</div><div><br /></div><div>why do i keep on dreaming?</div><div><br /></div>Mercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-29056155168958952512010-12-22T13:00:00.001-08:002010-12-22T14:19:01.958-08:00this blog is melissa's fault<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:hyphenationzone>21</w:HyphenationZone> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Tabla normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="text-align: left;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">As the end of the year approached... I realized I had no song, no word, no nothing of the year. In comparison to last year, I did not really thought of this as the end of the year. Time passed by so quickly and it has been so much fun that I just couldn’t sum it up. So I’ve decided to write a blog. I don't know what it is about but the only thing I can tell you is that the order probably won't have sense whatsoever... or the whole blog won't.<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">As i was sitting on my couch and had nothing else to do but eat I had an epiphany. I don't know how huge of a deal it is (to be honest, I never know how huge of a deal stuff is until i see people's reactions on it) but I know that it is, somewhat, life changing (to be honest, every single thing I do is).<br /><br /></span></div><div> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">As I was saying, as I was eating a choco-chip muffin, I discovered the way the mind works. I could tell my mind to keep eating, and it would, but when I tried to stop I couldn't. I mean come on, it was a good muffin, but I’ve been eating more than twice the calories i should for a week and a half, and its time to stop. So I did. And I started planning. I remembered planning something about the day after it, that i would eat healthy organic foods and fiber. Clean up my system like it was before all this junk. And I did. But then, as I planned the day after that one, my mind failed on me as a huge cookie came my way. And again, and again, and again. I felt like a total stranger to myself, and I had no dedication to my diet. I wanted to step out my body and look at myself, to see what is wrong. I couldn't. I still can't. I'm just writing.<br /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Before I realized this, I kind of viewed myself as a hobo with a home whose most exciting part of the day is having cookies for dinner. Obsessions are hypocrites, no matter what it is. Huge, stupid, selfish hypocrites.<br /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">BUT the epiphany appeared. It goes something like: There are two people inside me, and they hate each other. Kind of like the devil and angel above my shoulders, but sneaky. This had to do with my eating for that week and with whatever other problem I’ve ever had. I never thought of their presence, but now that I’ve found them its like, for once, I don't get to be one or another, I just get to be me. The hell with body image and the hell with food. I got to hear the devil and the angel in a balanced way. I will never be too good or too bad, no matter how much my head tells me. I'm in between.</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Organizing things will make you crazy. You live your life organizing or you organize your life living. I choose the second one, for once and for all.<br /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">Now, talking about problems lately, I’ve never been much of a talker of love, but never in my life have I hated someone. I love so many people in so many ways, and I love everything that surrounds me. I love the people that need me and I love the people who don't. But I never say it. I hate when people think I’m something I’m not but I keep it cool. It is impossible to not care what other people think, it’s egocentric and stupid, because to be honest, doing things that only you like won't be of the likes of others and you'll end up lonely, old, and with a bunch of cats as your companion. Cats don't judge, eh?<br /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">It's like, this whole year I’ve realized that the best things in life are the bad things. You can gain weight, but you can lose it. You can win and win and win... and the winning won't be fun anymore. You need to lose to know how it feels to win. I did not learn it the hard way; I just know that I learned it. If this blabbing make any sense. But that is all I want everyone to know, and if I see someone feeling defeated in whatever social network I’m on, I always try to say "Move on". There are falls everywhere and there is no goal. Everyone's goal is happiness, but it’s nonexistent. It might sound heartbreaking, but it is not. Your whole life you'll try to reach it, and when it’s been too much time and too much effort, you will look back and regret that you didn't know that happiness was already there. That’s why old people always say something like, "enjoy your youth" or something. You are in happiness. You're just way too concentrated trying to know what happiness is and where it is that you confuse yourself. There is no way to know it, and if there was, God would've already shown it to us. But he hasn't.</span><br /></div><p style="text-align: left;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">If you ever feel ignored, stupid, or just, like to hit yourself emotionally, stop. I got to be honest, I’m no one to talk about this kind of stuff, because I am NOWHERE near perfect (specially in this topic) but I know that if I try to tell people to change maybe me myself and I will too. It’s never about changing yourself; it’s about trying to help others. And once you've spent a little of your time trying to solve someone else's problem you'll realize you left no time for yours. It’s good, try it.<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">And last but not least, writing. I've always felt this awkwardness when someone asks "What do you do in your free time?" and I answer "Write.". It’s egotistic and it makes me sound like a hippie. I've looked for many other ways to phrase it but there is no other way. So yeah, I write, I’m no nerd, I did not get a high SAT score but I did get a good grade in Spanish. And I can write a song out of nowhere about anything in 5 minutes. "To all those people out there who think I’m no good, you're no better."<br /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">After all those "need-of-air' laugh fits and scary stories of how easy it is to die after a “near death experience” (which wasn’t really near)... after all those nights that we ate so much it felt like a hangover the next day... after the infinite silences of the psychologist that always was there for a reason... I know all this. So it is all about a balance. That is, after all, the word I chose for my 2010. What’s yours?<br /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="" lang="EN-US">xxxxxxxx - Mercy</span><br /></div><p style="text-align: left;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN-US">PS - its okay to fall. Do it often. But pick yourself up before you fall again, or you will just look weird laying on the floor all the time. Oh and live for the little things.<br /></span></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCFmrBrLdwtpeQPl6PVFYZAXIg6SMVPCLS44Q246mD96oiXPOhryfU7MJMUigLgZEYQJKaVG_oERI2QsUA_jLJh7nUBINdzb2NkVnvDaC29tEoCQO0T6pMeDPbnGMFbTExxZs7P8NorLVO/s1600/162756_469289871335_527836335_6219802_2812508_n.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCFmrBrLdwtpeQPl6PVFYZAXIg6SMVPCLS44Q246mD96oiXPOhryfU7MJMUigLgZEYQJKaVG_oERI2QsUA_jLJh7nUBINdzb2NkVnvDaC29tEoCQO0T6pMeDPbnGMFbTExxZs7P8NorLVO/s320/162756_469289871335_527836335_6219802_2812508_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553631119187103170" border="0" /></a>Mercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-45009887422728989522010-09-20T11:17:00.000-07:002010-09-20T11:28:10.501-07:00boot shaped countryLiving in a boot shaped country<br />Miles away from Tuscany<br />Living in the smallest villa<br />That in your life you've ever seen<br /><br />But its okay, if I get hungry<br />I can plant some apple trees<br />Afternoons I'll drink wine, eat bread<br />With every type of cheese<br /><br />Its a weekend, roadtrip to Rome<br />Oh my god its wonderful<br />A single pasta made for two<br />A million different ways to fall in love<br /><br />Love stories don't come close<br />This is my hearts biggest desire<br />All this seems so complicated<br />But to me it sounds just fine<br /><br />Sit for hours doing nothing<br />but to have you for yourself<br />Don't know myself in the morning<br />Be my best friend in the end<br /><br />Say hello with bigger smiles<br />And say goodbyes with namaste's<br />Go to sleep and never wake up<br />Til I repeat it the next day<br /><br />I keep dreaming<br />That I'd leave this place tonight<br />I don't know if it'll work<br />But it won't help if I won't try<br /><br />Love stories don't come close<br />This is my hearts biggest desire<br />All this seems so complicated<br />But to me it sounds just fineMercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-80356197920639804952010-08-13T07:22:00.000-07:002010-08-13T08:57:22.268-07:00.I can't wait to lose, and I can't wait to win. I really can't wait to have the perfect job but I also can't wait to work in Mcdonalds. I can't wait to be really heartbroken but I can't wait to exchange my vows. I can't wait to eat a piece of red velvet cake, but I can't wait to lose a pound. I can't wait for my math class to be over, and I can't wait to have my french class (hot teacher). <br /><br />I can't wait to go skiing for the first time, but I also can't wait to fall on my ass.<br /><br />I can't wait to laugh and cry, to lose and gain friends. I can't wait to buy my dream handbag and I can't wait to buy toilet paper. I can't wait to hear my father say 'no' to something I really want, and honestly, I'm thrilled when he says yes. Can't wait to travel the whole world and I can't wait to not afford it.<br /><br />I can't wait to sleep til 3 am and I can't wait to sleep, well, all day long.<br /><br />I can't wait to break my bones and I can't wait to show my scars. I can't wait to have a certain balance of both bad and good. Bad makes me stronger, good makes me happy; NOTHING makes me any wrong. Because the truth is... I can't wait to live.<br /><br /><br />Much love and xo's - MercyMercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-2145565351067918842010-05-12T16:04:00.000-07:002010-05-12T16:16:36.181-07:00i only sit back in my frontyardi only sit back in my frontyard<br />and watch the cars pass by<br /><br />i only sit back in my frontyard<br />and watch the people pass by<br /><br />neighbors runners and the mailman<br />they seem so bored with life<br /><br />but i just sit back in my frontyard<br />enjoy the things that pass by<br /><br />....<br /><br />sometimes i get a little desperate<br />and scare the people away<br /><br />you see im sitting waiting for you<br />but when you come you never stay<br /><br />so i just sit back in my backyard<br />just like my mom used to do<br /><br />rocking in a rocking chair<br />just like my grandma in '52<br /><br />im alright just like i should<br />im alone but its all good<br />im just enjoying the little time i have to myself<br />before i get to sail away<br />never been so patient<br />and its so hard when all i see is people leaving<br />but im alright just where i am<br />so dont worry<br />dont worry<br /><br />and im staying here forever<br />cause this is the only place you'd ever find me<br />and im staying here forever<br />so dont worry<br />dont worryMercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-76761326972122375032010-03-24T19:45:00.000-07:002010-03-24T19:50:36.175-07:00TENSO<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi9DyMG36Q3fnMFljpUCZIqK8uLv3Gtywr_GWubmhnvKdUcVzJNAH_k1DPdk2wHbdqUYRJqLazkBPsNRDyaI8cgiw0pTij6ia3ZzLiC7-59CMWd1pvVNNXtUeODpJeWVRMv6daHldqIYX0/s1600/tenso10.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; 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display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 86px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRoWkrXgFKvxsY2_SoSp4yFcDgW5vOE4DqnnPPircYOlX8lb87RQGqFkcX00iNC0HE5d73-Wxng1Fre0lrN0lnLlkT4WR-EidRq149pcaO0q036uk7eeQ8rcgmydc5hRQ3-uaI-yv8jOFx/s320/tenso2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452397809935039666" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ-yF_ePwwPAJUSSQdeqjOyHo7Y_jC-GNA86yU2sy_TaPoOFk7bhiLd_a5LS4tbLfZ7aOBrlmciI1xgpPVyir9ElSk2JIxOAHUk9ywPmcRifi32ge7YOP6ycYm9SOk7JaDm-2lK2T9heLv/s1600/tenso1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 120px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ-yF_ePwwPAJUSSQdeqjOyHo7Y_jC-GNA86yU2sy_TaPoOFk7bhiLd_a5LS4tbLfZ7aOBrlmciI1xgpPVyir9ElSk2JIxOAHUk9ywPmcRifi32ge7YOP6ycYm9SOk7JaDm-2lK2T9heLv/s320/tenso1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452397800215099106" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcR3nOs_AxFNdJUZKOxgC138RrnTynuj_ASr7hZ_94jVPrq28WnnVGcyfOo5lpsR_cFSAnSriidCi-1kfoUz9BWg9ZJWVgx9KniFkjkDxWrMb-8x6d_maBo37TQv9tLL7HhqmNPVmfd1I1/s1600/4pane-tenso-gappy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 86px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcR3nOs_AxFNdJUZKOxgC138RrnTynuj_ASr7hZ_94jVPrq28WnnVGcyfOo5lpsR_cFSAnSriidCi-1kfoUz9BWg9ZJWVgx9KniFkjkDxWrMb-8x6d_maBo37TQv9tLL7HhqmNPVmfd1I1/s320/4pane-tenso-gappy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452397796293348274" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQnzmyPFSvcufwgeYWV_fcll2Ko5Cxf6wnJIhz-XzeluLaAzQhIoRARQzhl7oFdpEu_7dKz-unICnowB7BZqzavPR6ecmReO2IgkK4_LnlpJlRHcSzzsLuGFQRyBm6Jab9SJJd1kS-8zii/s1600/tenso.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 160px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQnzmyPFSvcufwgeYWV_fcll2Ko5Cxf6wnJIhz-XzeluLaAzQhIoRARQzhl7oFdpEu_7dKz-unICnowB7BZqzavPR6ecmReO2IgkK4_LnlpJlRHcSzzsLuGFQRyBm6Jab9SJJd1kS-8zii/s320/tenso.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452397781227301778" border="0" /></a>All by www.comixed.comMercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-20517613340151520082009-12-23T20:27:00.000-08:002009-12-23T21:09:46.836-08:00ta da!So its christmas. I didnt give any gift to anyone. I just baked two cakes for both my sisters. Tada. Dont get upset if I didnt give you anything.<br /><br />But the end of the year is coming up and its making me nostalgic. It normally does. A year ago i wrote one of my most important songs. One year ago people meant nothing. One year ago I was following the steps of what my heart wanted, not my head. In this year, the most important lesson i ever learned was to find a balance between what your heart says and head says. If you pay too much attention to your heart, you get depressed. If you pay too much attention to your head, you get cocky. Find a balance, I deeeeeply recommend it.<br /><br />I feel like i need to name some people who made this year remarkable. Lets include things, music, and movies. Why not?<br /><br /><strong>This is NOT in order</strong><br /><br />Dany Leza: Basically made my year in high school worth while. While i was looking around classes thinking HEY i wanna get the hell outta here, no one could listen. No one thought as I did. I wanted to go away and I wanted something way too big for this town. Then every little break we had we either discussed the stupidity of teachers (because of course, we are ALWAYS right!), discussed the latest gossip (Perezhilton FTW) or talked about how we were big fishes in a small pond. We dont know why, but we felt way too out of place. You know what? It doesnt feel out of place anymore. It doesnt because we've talked too much about it, that we made it our own little place. Although i do want to escape to Canada. Probably will, eh?<br />Oh and i will NEVER forget the time your mom crashed my car. And if i ever forget it, its written here. Ha. Ha. Ha.<br /><br />Ale Vara: OH MY GOD!!! so many good moments. I love you babyy gurlll. We probably had manicure too many times in the year, and ate too many sushi too. I probably ate more food with you than in any other day of the year. We'll be obese BFF'S at the asylum, dont worry. I had NO fights with you this year, and you're growing up to be little miss atittude! Finally! I knew from the start that you were too valuable to be stepped on by other people. I knew you were going to speak up. Now you can't shut up. Its okay, i cant shut up either. I think we've had this conversation before... we are annoying talkers. And i love your family! They're good people, nice people. I love little Moccha. And i love you!!!!<br /><br />Shmariel: You've had your ups and you've had your downs. My christmas gift to you is that you should NEVER give up. Ive been there and now, if you try to ignore the bad parts of your life, the good ones will just pop up. Its not good luck, its good will. Its God wanting you to have a hard time in order to have to value the good ones. And ive been there all year and you're the craziest mother fucker alive! (Quoting Hangover). You're weird and unique and different from anyone else. You keep losing faith in finding someone for you, but im not worried about that. I know you'll find someone who'll deal with your downs, and LOVE them. Just wait. Remember my sister found her perfect man at 20. You're 17. TOODALOO MOTHAFUCKA!<br /><br />MAAAAAAAAAAAAAFE: HOLA!! I always have an exciting entrance when i talk to you! You know why? Cause you're like my closest friend. I always tell you everything. You never judge me. We both are basically the SAME people. Berkley 2011 for the win. And you know what? What i admire the most about you is that every single detail you either make it funny or make it happy. You're the most cheerful person ive ever met. Im so so so greatful that i have you as a friend. You're one of the most valuable people in my life! You're the kind of person that when I have a great day, i say IMMA GOING TO TELL MAFE. And viceversa. I'll always be here for you mafe bo bafe. love chu locaa.<br /><br />Meli: you're the kind of person i dont have anything to say about. Cause, we've said it everything. You've been there always. Words are NOT enough. Besides, it would be uncomfortable talking about love with you. So i'll just say... Ew you suck.<br /><br />Erin: I really really really really really really really need to meet you. Theres times when im like ERIN SHOULD BE HERE. All my friends know about you. You're special to me. Even when we dont talk much, i always think hey, erin is one of the few friends that has been in certain situations i've been. And sometimes i think HEY, Erin has the same freaking sarcastic not-funny-to-others kind of sense of humor. I know i'll laugh my ass off with you. I love you! You're one of my closest friends ever. I'm just really thankful to have you as a friend. I dont even know how to say it! You're aaamazing<br /><br />Now i'm way too lazy to keep writing about this. So i'm going to list some people.<br /><ul><li>Greta</li><li>Marian</li><li>Cony</li><li>Lalo</li><li>Chele</li><li>Courtney (Yes, YOU!)</li><li>Carla</li><li>Dianis</li><li>Marijose</li><li>Melissa (yes, YOU!)</li><li>Nutella</li><li>aahahahhahahahahaaha</li><li>Jason Mraz</li><li>Kings of Leon</li><li>(for keeping me updated with the tunezzzz)</li><li>Mom, Pops</li><li>Lola (the inspiration behind the name)</li><li>Nana</li><li>Oli</li><li>Franco</li><li>Puch</li><li>Kirby</li><li>Ha. no. no.</li><li>Hangover. :)</li><li>Lovely Bones</li><li>Kelly</li><li>Mike</li><li>Brandon</li><li>Tommy</li><li>Cookies</li><li>Sushi</li><li>Pastry</li><li>EVERY LITTLE THING. You and you and you.</li></ul><p>xo - Mercy</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>Mercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-79172463249035263232009-11-09T14:10:00.000-08:002009-11-09T17:43:16.996-08:00blank pagesbend his personality to fit just right into mine<br />you can't believe the way he talks and talks<br />and every single thing youve heard about this guy<br /><br />he likes to braid the girls hair<br />and play piano instead of guitar<br />he didn't even know how far<br />do we ever know how far?<br /><br />and if he only knew<br />that everytime I look at him I think of you<br />that his happiness was contagious<br />and that I smile instead of cry everytime I look at your book<br />and their blank pages<br />their blank pages<br /><br />small things make the big difference<br />he's such a dork<br />the kind of boy with eyes that scream innocence<br />and I'm such a fool for spending my days without listening<br />but I'm moving on<br />does moving on really exist?<br /><br />and if he only knew<br />I know he knows cause I look at the sky and I look at you<br />there's something so much bigger than what I say<br />but does it even matter anyway?<br /><br />and if he only knew<br />that I figured out his little secret<br />of all those candies you're the sweetest<br />I guess god wanted a taste of you<br />more than I could ever do<br />god wanted a taste of you<br /><br />for all those blank pages<br />with all those strange faces<br />that concert with your piano and a guitar<br /><br />your blonde blue eyed girl<br />asking yourself are you really in love with her?<br />and all those strange places<br />you'd know by now<br /><br />did your smile ever turn into a frown?<br />did you ever ran out of town?<br />would you ever get lost in the sound?<br /><br />I wish I could let you fill them in<br />those blank pages<br />write on them back and forth<br />those blank pages<br />theres so much more you couldve do<br />but god wanted a taste of you<br /><em></em><br /><em></em><br /><em>who knows when you're going to run out of blank pages..</em><br /><em>maybe you wont even have time to fill them</em><br /><em>live happy</em><br /><br />xo - Mercy<br /><br />P.S. ALL RIGHTS RESERVEDMercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-8779187787614342392009-10-08T19:25:00.000-07:002009-10-08T19:42:33.639-07:00eternal sunshine of the stressful mindTime wasted is time that passes way too fast. I've been struggling in and out of things that arent my problems, doing stuff that i'm not interested in, and been nothing but stressed these past almost two months i havent updated. I updated because i felt inspired. I lost my inspiration.<br /><br />I've done plenty of things i dont want to, but this is long term. I'm stressed 20 of the 24 hours a day... and with that you can almost calculate the time i sleep. I don't know where I am. I don't know where i stand. But I'm not sad. I'm just living things i dont want to live like if it was air; neccesary but not a bother. It just rubs off my shoulders.<br /><br />Now the mistake i've done many times before was make a big deal. If you start to make a big deal about something thats wrong in your life, its going to be even bigger. Just ignore it, try to live, and you'll see how TIME HEALS EVERYTHING. I fully understand that term now.<br /><br />Now in between missing the cruise, wanting to go away to achieve something bigger than me.. theres the truth. I've gotta let go, but i've gotta move on. If i really want to go away, i'll go away. I've been a big fan of change, and i'm going to do it.<br /><br />"So what if it hurts me? So what if i break down? so what if the world throws me off the edge, my feet right off the ground. I've gotta find my place..." (Leona Lewis gets me)<br /><br />So, i dont care if you think i'm demented. I'm alright with it. I know some things will hurt me on the way to try to change, but it'll be for the better. I thought i fought the battle but all i was doing is getting my armour. Things are not supposed to make sense at the time. Maybe i'm wrong, i will NEVER say i'm right because i'm not the one to say it. I'd be ignorant, knowing that everything that is right might be a mistake later. I'll just do whatever i think will make me feel better, not benefit me. Hell, benefit will fly away someday. I just want to be happy.<br /><br />Anyways... where i was going with this is that i had yet to find something that would make me feel that relaxation, that "im stranded in the middle of nowhere" feeling. The feeling i have when i don't care who's around and i just focus on one thing. That feeling that i get when i'm fully living. Its being in a total peace of mind.<br /><br />And i'm here to tell you i found my answer.<br /><br />Books.<br /><br />I've grown fond of some books. I read stuff that are interesting but yet weird. The weirder it gets, the better. I love reading about something that makes your life change. And i love tragedies.<br /><br />I was looking through my sisters books and i found something. Its called "The lovely bones". You might've already heard about it, its going to be a huge movie. I decided to read it. I had enough free time on class to waste on this book. I was going to start reading again<br /><br />Although the day passed as slow as can be, at 2:00pm i had read half the book. I felt someplace else. I felt that state of mind i needed. Not the typical teenage feeling i had. Not the clothes, not the guys, not the gossip. Not anymore. I felt peace. And i loved it. And i didnt care who knew. I spent most of my free time sitting on the floor reading. Some teachers passed by and smiled. I got appreciation from teachers AND my "mind-sleep" i needed. I was happy.<br /><br />So read this book. Its NOT a happy book. Well what i've read. But its life changing. I'm not going to tell you whats it about but what i can tell you is that this author is amazingly talented in portraying a teenage tragedy in a teenagers eyes. It doesnt get boring, and it doesnt get scary. You either get too traumatized, or not traumatized at all.<br /><br />So thats it. My blog entry. I've realized that mind relaxation makes me wanna write blogs. I forgot what my password was. Its my school's fault. You take my mind out of the important things...<br /><br />Your typical hugs and kissessss - Mercy<br /><br />P.S. I love dany. "Lo voy a poner de quit!!!!"Mercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-9023168012173825222009-08-22T14:41:00.000-07:002009-08-22T15:34:26.577-07:00self appreciationLets just forget about everything and think we're on "Who wants to be a millionaire".<br /><br />Now i don't remember this game much, but what i know are basics. You win more money if you answer more questions. But if you want to keep the money you've got, you just grab the money and run... i don't know if i'm right but this is what i think.<br /><br />Imagine you're the one playing. You've got 50,000 in your bank. Now this is the point where you think through stuff. You're thinking.. "Hey, i could run away with the 50,000, i'll win, but i won't be as rich as 100,000... or even a million...What can i do...". This part drives you INSANE. You can't think right. And then you do it. You risk it. You risk it all for a better outcome.<br /><br />So this is what i'm going to talk about today. Taking risks for self appreciation. Yeah, a big big big metaphor.<br /><br />So everyday i see people bringing themselves down. I have a question. Why bring yourself down when you have the choice not to do so? I mean... people bring other people down all the time. Isnt it enough? Or do you REALLY need, besides someone else bringing you down, bring YOURSELF by your choice down too? I don't know if i made any sense...<br /><br />You gotta love yourself. You're worth it all. You can do ANYTHING if you want to. You're worth millions to someone. You're special to someone. But have you asked yourself... Are you someone's favorite person? Are you?<br /><br />You've gotta be different. And when it all comes down, all the bad words the people said to you, all the compliments that raised your spirit, everything, will be worth it too.<br /><br />Be yourself! As cliche as it sounds... it works. Now you're probably asking yourself what the hell does who wants to be a millionaire has to do with this. Okay so lets say you're depressed. You can't find anything that goes right. NOTHING! Well, as i said a million times before, everything just finds it way. But i know words are foolish when you're thinking this. Nothing can't go into your head. You're the 50,000 prize you've already won, but you want more. You want the 100,000. And secretly, you want the million. But you know you arent gonna have it.<br /><br />Why does it exist if you can't have it? OF COURSE YOU CAN.<br /><br />Now moving on. Lets just get this clear. Take a breath, and see what you got. You got people around you that love you the way you are. You've got a breathing LUNG for god sakes. You're not dying. You're probably living better than many other people. Think positive. Think right.<br /><br />You've got some good 50,000 to spend on. Some people don't even have a cent. And im not necesarily talking about money... if you actually understand what i'm saying, kudos to you!<br /><br />Now if you wanna get better, take a risk. Risks are my favorite. Who knows, maybe you'll end up with 100,000. And it would be enough for you. But you can lose it all. But its all for change, isnt it? You're tired of the same old story, the same old ending, the same DAYS on repeat. Do it, i dare you. Take a risk. If you lose, theres a lesson bigger than you waiting for you. So don't worry.<br /><br />But let me tell you one VERY important thing. 50,000 is ALOT. What you have is enough. What you have is beautiful. You're gorgeous in your own way. People that don't appreciate it are people that are not worth having a second in your life, so why bother.<br /><br />You may ask, what am i? I'm a proud 100,000. I've taken risks. Some people notice, some people don't. Some people are astonished that I did some things at such young age. But whatever. And as a great risk taker, i want to be a self appreciation millionaire.<br /><br />"I can say i hope it will be worth what i give up"<br /><br />the whole "Who wants to be a millionaire" thing doesnt have to do with the million times i said "million" in this blog<br /><br />xo - Mercy<br /><br />P.S. i couldnt stop thinking about dev patel's hotness throughout this whole blogMercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-35256532764659128172009-08-17T12:18:00.000-07:002009-08-17T12:38:16.977-07:00i just don't get itDo you have a problem with someone, something so bad, that you get disgusted? Do you even know that person? Do you want to make a change to that person? Or will you live calmly knowing you'll live better than he will ever live?<br /><br />I'm talking about TEENAGERS. I'm one. Figures. But theres this funny thing i just don't get. I don't get teenagers. And sometimes, i don't even get my close friends. Teenagers have the tendency to bring someone else down. Criticize. The prime factor in this problem is that they think NOTHING will happen. When its quite the opposite<br /><br />Dont get me wrong, i love being a teenager. I'm amazed at all the teenagers around me. They seem happy. And thats what it is about, being happy, isnt it? But theres this thing that bothers me; How do they keep living an unhealthy way if they know they'll end up being something much worse than those who they bother? Something worse than the people they make fun of? (This is the perfect example of the kid who is bullied and 20 years after the bully ends up working with him... hey.. IT HAPPENS!)<br /><br />I used to be bullied. I can gladly say i was proud of it. This was 5th grade, i remember it. Kinda blurry though. I remember bully #1 next to bully #2 in a round table. Back then, breaking the rules was a blasphemy, so i had to sit down with them because the teacher said so. They could talk and talk about me and laugh everytime i sat down. I'm honest, everytime they layed an eye on me, they'd chuckle. It was living hell for me. I didn't go to school for weeks.<br /><br />I still find my way to be positive<br /><br />But then came 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th grade. You could see the bullying go lower and lower each year, because we are "supposely" being more mature. But the girls were amazingly mean. They would glare and laugh. I did not know what i was doing wrong. I was scared, terrified... I was different.<br /><br />Now at first i said what the hell. If thats the problem, lets be even more different. But over these years i noticed thats not the problem. The problem is them. Not me. And what ever thing they do will affect themselves, not me. I kinda repeated that last sentence the past 5 years of my life.<br /><br />People i'm friends with say i'm strong. Thats not it. I realized things teenagers dont GET at such age. Maybe that means i'm growing up faster than they do. Madonna once told me i'm older emotionally. But now, everytime i see someone glare, or just laugh at my back... I ignore. Its something i do often. I cant let them inside my head. Thats what they want. And they don't deserve you.<br /><br />Now lately i have no problem with most teenagers. I'm selfish; as long as they do not do stuff to me, i'm alright. But this last month i've been selfless. Here's a little note to some people i've seen out there...<br /><br />Do you feel big when you laugh at someone who is telling you their lives in a DIFFERENT way?<br /><br />Do you feel amazing when you just, don't care, laugh at the important things, and act careless around your friends?<br /><br />Or even more important, those friends... DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE FRIENDING?<br /><br />You gotta take care of yourself, if you're a teenager. Be an adult before age. In that way, you'll start before. And dont be lazy, there's plenty of time to rest when you die. Love yourself, before all this circumstances. You could be the most excellent student, the most respectful friend... but it all would be a lie if you don't love yourself first.<br /><br />I will now proceed to sleep<br /><br />xo - Mercy<br /><br />P.S.: Mean girls still laugh at the sight of me. I laugh harder. :)Mercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-23816298210980185762009-08-16T16:12:00.000-07:002009-08-17T12:42:21.486-07:00"where are you mike?"<em>I'm just saying, this caps thing will be gone by the end of the week. i dont use caps. I'm just trying to be professional. It never works.</em><br /><br />SUMMMMERRRR??????<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5ZGazmHFIQfliW4jcICNCPqGf82U5ipLaa1FAVTzaC2BkKpztVNZmcnSeuWQ1HI5zF_za8O9WDltdFTdLe9-c0CXyC8pqLMXY4Iy-ZBmLlvb2qv6r6onRFrDrUJlCc6-VowvYT-F4b2-v/s1600-h/5612_112741775941_512795941_2784720_2584212_n.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370704909138057538" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5ZGazmHFIQfliW4jcICNCPqGf82U5ipLaa1FAVTzaC2BkKpztVNZmcnSeuWQ1HI5zF_za8O9WDltdFTdLe9-c0CXyC8pqLMXY4Iy-ZBmLlvb2qv6r6onRFrDrUJlCc6-VowvYT-F4b2-v/s320/5612_112741775941_512795941_2784720_2584212_n.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy4zjDDlnXkCNoDA6djr6WiQ4b5DboU7_JJ_MnbvO3G2Cg8g-DZJ2wmF4an0vTsl_K0esOemLDoyvsqSivi0JiTaqmfL5LYsfcnA2c-GK2YSio7xMe41_7eIZyZyUlNnG2-ItuPTuBvqPk/s1600-h/5612_112741340941_512795941_2784660_3124557_n.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370704870608302898" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy4zjDDlnXkCNoDA6djr6WiQ4b5DboU7_JJ_MnbvO3G2Cg8g-DZJ2wmF4an0vTsl_K0esOemLDoyvsqSivi0JiTaqmfL5LYsfcnA2c-GK2YSio7xMe41_7eIZyZyUlNnG2-ItuPTuBvqPk/s320/5612_112741340941_512795941_2784660_3124557_n.jpg" border="0" /></a> SUMMMMMERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!ONEONEONE<br /></div><br /><div>I pretty much was a bum. I ended finals with a BAM thinking i was going to make a remedial exam bout french. I could swear the teacher hated me, and i could swear i was going to fail miserably. But i didnt. I'm starting to think he didn't really hated me...<br /></div><br /><div>So first days of summer i slept at 4 am and woke up at noon. I ate like a maniac. Never, i tell you, NEVER leave nutella in my house when i'm in a "sleep late, wake up late" mode. NEVER. I'm pretty sure i packed on some pounds, but as they come they go. They'll leave soon, believe me. I know how to deal with them. We're like best friends. We get along. Mr. poundy and me. Actually, its kinda like a love/hate relationship.<br /></div><br /><div>Madonna practically is disappointed. I have my normal wed/thurs/friday classes, but he still wants more. I couldnt give it, with the excuse that i needed rest from all those hours school had taken away. Cue the rolling of eyes.<br /></div><div>When i started to feel like i was about to get attached permanently to the couch (The heat and being there sitting all day do not mix) i decided to get my licence. If you know me personally, you'd know i am TERRIFIED of cars. They are evil creatures. I dont like them. So the classes were painful. I even made myself to think something was happening everytime. I remembered to tell my mom that i love her, Madonna that i'll miss him, and my friends that they'll keep my belongings...<br /></div><div>Needless to say, I'm alive AND with a licence. Wooohooo. I actually find driving quite entertaining. But driving in reverse is a pain in my butt. I can't deal with it. My garage is a pain in the butt too.<br /></div><div>Okay, moving on... i was getting used to wake up, eat, hang with friends, watch degrassi, sleep. Repeat. Every week. It was starting to get dull. But then my family members (Who in total, are 9 people, including sisters' husbands and my little niece) decided to go to ALASKA. Like, what the hell. What the hell was i supposed to do there? A 16 year old hormonal girl with 87 year old grandparents?<br /></div><div>Totally kidding about that last sentence. But you get the point.<br /></div><br /><div>So my parents did EVERYTHING. i tell you, EVERYTHING possible to convince me to go. They said i could</div><br /><div>a) Shop whatever i want</div><div>b) Go to Houston a week before<br />c) Invite someone<br /></div><div>So i decided with A) and C). My cousin, Meli, was in the game. Now i was all good. Everything was fine. I knew that if i was stuck in a 5 hour whale watch, i could just bother her. Me being the most awesome cousin there is...<br /></div><div>Now Meli always invites me to Mazatlan. I never go. But this time i said, why the hell not. I needed a tan anyways</div><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370711428985065858" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivlGDshjVR7nxhnatZJiBugg_muuuONmqxVxq9o2Px7tqgRZCSKzlHipmNac1M9RlUXf6czaWdi5fjCvxpvZHIu5xztjwceT7mA6HfDgcu5KuH1UoqprskgcOy_RJHh5_2OamAla3qVljh/s320/blog3.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370711415420580786" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiuONWU3EP50TnDRpDGyx0HPGJUa7ltmbjT9rWMnlylCUsMim72JSl3ZiBV0fm11XatMmfwE_qzqURq6y_QK5B6t-_r6qgYZSfSkzQF1UEX3Ig-X-Kfjw2pyIf_BsvlloOi3Stjj2ymC8R/s320/blog2.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370711408632664706" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9O4ijtO_0B_pksXJPP7AQZ0ALzw5WkLByweLys_82f-pMl5WHJlcwT5tNhnm_RbH5Nsyu47fKZhT6bNWhT7YfeGmxTpNJgWHpBhg_BSm4aEb5jhyJGGiYZQL_XvSvZSJVMj9ROZr6bdEn/s320/blog1.jpg" border="0" />It was so much fun. I went there thinking that i would have some kind of relationship with my cousins hot hot hot friends, but whatever, i liked it anyway. I happened to stay outside for one hour, each side, to tan. I got sunburnt. It hurted like hell. But YAY i got my tan. I was no longer pale...<br /></div><div>The plan was: Go to mazatlan for a week, go back home for 3 days to pack and get ready for Alaska, and then go to Alaska for aprox. 2 weeks. And while i was in my total relaxation point in a floatable banana, falling down to an ocean of opportunities.... and it was DEEP as hell. (I realized the fear of heights also works in ocean...) Canada decided to ask us mexicans for visas. Two days before going to Alaska. And the cruise shipped from Vancouver.</div><div><br /></div><div>First thought in my mind: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!<br /></div><div>But then my aunt and my momma made their magic, of course Madonna did too... And next thing i know, i only had 5 hours in my home. I cried like a baby. I wanted to be back home, in my bed. And sleep til 4. And wake up til 12. cry cry cry</div><div><br /></div><div>Melissa and I felt like complete rockstars. We just came back from a trip and went to another. I told her that. She didnt understand til halfway through the trip...</div><div><br /></div><div>LONG plane rides make my life hell. And when we got in the airport, the wait was even HELLER. yes thats my new word. HELLER!! we had to wait 5 hours in line. I remember hitting my toe in a corner, and a tear fell down my cheek. My family was around me, but they didnt say anything at all. They were all stressed. Thats when a random canadian guard came up to me and asked me if i was okay. I fell in love immediately with the canadian people. SO nice</div><div></div><div><br /></div><div>Now i'm in vancouver, wasting my college fund in american apparel, banana rep and urban. My mom has this hate mode everytime my sisters and I shop. She thinks we spend too much money and she doesnt speak to us all day. At all. </div><div></div><div><br /></div><div>We touristed like tourists. We walked around like tourists. We took pictures like tourists. Well duh, we WERE tourists after all.</div><div><br /></div><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370704876008297138" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_SSv_sG2UxHRBpvjWG2-Jvnxbu4Ll10jqbiEgH4BwBTYHh7v0qpZVzdH5Qph-Z_9Qo3bjoyEQj_8sWkRyWBD__JkmULpbV9I7GBGFRNBQvOBPkZ6MuexJLHoodWd6IewzAolLNGyudE5H/s320/thefam.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div>All aboard the serenade of the Seas! Oh i did NOT know what was coming. I clearly didn't. We got in, and Meli and I promised ourselves we were gonna be WILD. And we're pretty much boring. So it was a big thing for us. So that night, we went to a "teen club" And there were some crazy people. Seriously. We realized that even though mexican people have the tendency to be loud and crazy, americans are MUCH more liberal. We had to say no at the perverted offers. It actually made us laugh.</div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>We visited some weird towns. The first one looked like the movie, "Texas chainsaw massacre". The second one, "House of wax". And the third one looked like the ring. Amazingly creepy. Alaska is a very interesting state. I cannot say the sceneries were boring, cause they werent. They were astonishing! I couldnt believe my eyes. I did not know glaciars looked BLUE.</div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>My little niece put up the color in the cruise. She's an amazingly smart little one year old. I remember that she carried her portable dvd with NEMO. When the DVD didnt work, she took my hand, and clicked PLAY with my hand. She gets it from her aunt. And she was obsessed with nemo. Every single time she saw ocean, she had a sudden outburst to yell "Nemo!!!!"</div><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370704893432269650" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnewZuk33s47LfocgSHCv1eMGCBFboIL51c0m_SGzt_9kVzZ12jjECd19gy1hCHcw9A-9LQL11oiL72jD3hbYZgdfc7JjfKTSMMmBHY8pY4nWD6tMhhqDgOJ-v6Xz5lQ4MBC9-ffb7-Wse/s320/alaska+021.jpg" border="0" /></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370704903303135538" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRbIr9oFhIs2MLtSITALfeD0LgeIJDxfe7K1a5q2tdt5HAUdX6QL0cz52CCchnn3XzobBFzN5oyUH3cHrtwE9V-sXsvt4iOwIXgMDOt3i6eqj8SFsb5q3x3ZEYqDX87hDK_M7zBx_CKMoN/s320/alaska+027.jpg" border="0" />Some Blah-blahs, some stupid boys, some REALLY stupid girls later... we got outta the cruise. We lost our camera. Bummer. I felt like crying all day. It was horrible. I missed my cruise friends dearly, and i know they were a big part of my summer. They were ccuuuhhhhrazy, but amazing.</div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>Now that i'm back, starting school... i feel sad. Sad because i didnt knew i could be that happy. Sad because i did not know i was happy when i was. Sad because i don't get to go to the Windjammer in the morning for breakfast, play ping pong challenges in the afternoon and stay up to 2 am in the jacuzzi with clothes. I will miss you all dearly.</div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>Don't forget me. I won't forget ya.</div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div> </div><div>xo - Mercy </div></div>Mercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-87319613409605981992009-08-16T13:41:00.000-07:002009-08-16T14:14:15.866-07:00things DO changeI feel like a blog addict already.<br /><br />Sorry.<br /><br />And i'm even more sorry to myself because i know i'm speaking to me. Who am I kidding? But its okay with me, as long as I say it. Never say i didnt say so! Or write. Whatever.<br /><br />Okay so, exactly 7 months ago i was pretty much listening to "Change" by Taylor Swift on repeat. This is the kind of song you hear and hear and you're convinced its going to make some kind of impact in your life, but it doesnt, and you just forget it. I felt so lost at the time. I just didnt know what i wanted, and i was scared that if i just stood there, all the chances were going to fly away from my hands. I was terrified. I couldnt sleep. And when i did, I couldnt wake up easily. I didnt look up to anything.<br /><br />School was being a bitch. I couldnt get good grades. I couldnt stop driving my parents insane. I was going to a path i didnt wanted to. Until i asked for help.<br /><br />GUYS, ask for help. Not neccesarily "doctor" help. Just ask for a hand in a nearby person. Your sister, your brother. They love you more than that doctor wants you to get better. They are always the best medicine. And tell your mom about everything. I told mine about my stuff, and she laughed. It was actually pretty hilarious, she couldnt believe i was passing through the same stuff she did when she was young. In that way, i knew i was going to be okay. Cause she's okay.<br /><br />Now, if things are even MORE extreme, ask for help in God. I know some of you don't believe, and i'm not the best God follower out there; I dont go to church, I dont pray much, I swear, I eat when i wanna, etc... But i'm telling you, he loves you so much! I know about it. If you're distant from him, he keeps you closer to his heart. If you listen to him in the worst of times, he'll make it better.<br /><br />So back to the story... I finally gave in and asked for help. I was disappointed in myself because i didnt wanted people to know i was weak. And thats the first mistake you'll ever make in adult life. Dont be afraid to be seen at your worse, for people will help you with their best. Isnt it what you want? To be helped with all their strength? If you ask me, i prefer help from someone who means it that someone who just pities me.<br /><br />Things started to make sense. Basically because the person who helped me, who from now on we will name "Madonna", just lend a hand. And thats where it all gets better. Cause you know you only needed A STEP to be okay. You start walking on your own to somewhere that makes sense to you.<br /><br />Now for all these past months i've been working on it non stop. Madonna's proud. My momma's proud. But HEY! I'm losing my patience. And this things taking long. What are you supposed to do?<br /><br />I'm not trying to give a smartass answer to this question; I'm actually asking myself that. I dont know what to do. I barely do have any time to think about it. I'm just savouring the moment as for now. And what will happen, will happen.<br /><br />People say i have the best of luck. I dont believe in luck. I believe that God loves me.<br /><br />Everything will be fine, I promise.<br /><br />xo - Mercy<br /><br />P.S. I'm excited for the outcome. You guys don't know what it is about. Maybe you do. But you'll know. And i'll be happy about all those people who once brought me down. Cause i know i'll be living my life, and they will not be involved. And if they ever do want to, I'll give them a chance. Be the bigger person. Of course, i'm never going to fall for the pretty compliments. Expect the worst, keep your guard....<br />Oh and things did change. Taylor Swift was right.Mercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3039380048046114716.post-29714590246117223222009-08-16T12:15:00.000-07:002009-08-16T12:20:59.499-07:00is this thing on?I decided to start writing a blog because I have sudden thought outbursts during physics class. So i thought, why waste them? Why forget them? Lets write a BLOG!<br /><br />So lately I've been busy as hell. I do not know if thats alright or not... my dad says it is. Whatever, i prefer to be lazy and stay home. But i'm afraid I cant. I'm a responsible student now. Supposedly.<br /><br />I've been fighting myself to do some stuff. Seriously, i feel so complicated. I blame it on the teenage years. I've always felt like i'm in MOVEMENT. Mercy number one thinks everything will get solved by solving one problem. But Mercy number two realizes i'm always in problems. This is the constant MOVEMENT i'm talking about. And i'm sorry for the annoying caps that i just throw in.<br /><br />Whatever, i'm supposed to be studying. And doing homework. Hence the name "Procrastination"...Cause thats all this blog is about. Thoughts in Physics class.<br /><br />Nice to meetcha, blog. I hope we can be friends<br /><br />xo - MercyMercy Vidaurrihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06029539873013610342noreply@blogger.com0